Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
