Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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