I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I touched a dick in church today
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
