what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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