I want to stick my p in your. b.
Your dad touched me again.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
