She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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