Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
