proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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