Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
