so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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