We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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