season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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