I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
