Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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