Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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