afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
