what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
