Moan for me like Helen Keller
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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