girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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