you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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