I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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