Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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