the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
