Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Someone came in the potted fern
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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