I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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