would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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