my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just had sex on a roof
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
