The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
