Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
