hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
