Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
