Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
