i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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