Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Randomize
