margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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