Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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