every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize