hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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