Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
