are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
