He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
