that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
