Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
