i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
