Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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