you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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