So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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