I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
