I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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