no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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