So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
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My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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