If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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