Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
