His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize