So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
