You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
