I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
