I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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